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One male Closer told me that it felt rewarding to “help men too old to understand the internet,” and that “some people are too busy for all that.” Another writer told me that “finding love is a mysterious process, so we use data.”The service’s data-driven approach to professional flirting became clear to me during my training.

“We’ve discovered that a surprisingly large portion of the online dating process can be systematized into what is essentially clerical work,” read one line in my training manual.

“Let’s try a different approach.” My meaningful questions would disappear from our shared Google Doc, replaced by simpler, condescending small talk.

My Closer manuals were written by the company’s founder, Scott Valdez, a self-taught dating expert with a background in sales.

“When writing sales copy…the goal is to reduce her ‘cognitive load’ so she’s more likely to reach the end and still have energy to write out a reply.”What does a “low cognitive load” pick-up line look like?

My personal favorite: These pick-up lines are mostly sent by a third type of employee, “Matchmakers,” who send out opening messages en masse across every dating platform imaginable: Tinder, Bumble, match.com, POF, Luxy, and Seeking Arrangement, to name just a few.

”If there’s a message that the client doesn’t like, we take it out of rotation.” After the Matchmakers have made contact, the Closers then step in to keep up the flirty banter and, hopefully, get their client a date.

Clients are sent weekly emails to alert them of numbers we’ve scored or, for Platinum clients, when and where to go for a date we’ve arranged.

We are to treat them as dating-assistant gospel.“There’s no question about it,” reads one chapter, “women want to date the alpha male.

“With [dating apps’] explosion in popularity, it means that you have a huge dating pool at your fingertips, but you’re also in direct competition with everyone else in your area.

So if you want to have a chance at meeting your most intriguing matches, you need to have the best possible profile, photos, and messages.”In my guise as a middle-aged American male, it’s my job to pursue women on our clients’ behalf.

The initial training period lasts several weeks before we’re given access to clients’ accounts, during which we must read several training manuals and submit draft responses to fake matches.

At first, my trainer encouraged me to get creative with my replies, but by the third week, I was still getting back extensive rewrites.

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  1. But after a few weeks of chatting on the app and one failed attempt at meeting up, they ended up on a first date at a local minor-league baseball game, drinking beer and eating hot dogs in the stands.